Anyways ever since the VPNs went down I haven't been able to sleep, I get like 5 hours and I wake up every hour or so. Normally I keep old episodes of the Northernlion Live Super Show on while I sleep since their inane banter makes it easy to just fall asleep, but I've basically been just sleeping in blackness and silence.
For the first few days I thought maybe it was still good sleep but a week later I'm feeling pretty bad, maybe it's the alcohol consumption, going out with people every night, every day, but shit I'm starting to feel the energy give way to like... Imagine doing a mountain of cocaine and the come down on that, I feel kinda jittery, high heart rate, tired but energetic?
Anyways I moved to Shanghai like six, almost seven months, ago because living in the US sucks cock and I wanted a better quality of life. You know behind working constantly and wishing I was dead or the building I work in would get incinerated.
So I've always wanted to leave the US just because the world is big and I'd like to see at least some of it. So here I am teaching English in Shanghai and making less than I was in the US but with a lot more time and money on my hands. I'd generally say I'm happier, but I still struggle to hit a good work life balance. I'm off in Podunk Pudong and most of the people I know are an hour away over Metro over in like, the Jing'an area and shit. There's a weekly quiz night at a Sports bar that I sometimes go to hosted by the Shanghai Reddit Meetup group and they're mostly really nice people in real life. They can be a little too much for me in the Reddit Wechat group but I guess I should kind of expect that from Reddit pwople. Uh, anyways, I sometimes go to that maybe once every two months, and if the monthly meetup is something worth doing I'll go to that, but my schedule is pretty awkward. I have Monday and Tuesday off but my weekdays end at 8PM on weekdays and 7PM on weekends. My school is also adjusting hours and shaving weekday hours off and adding them to my weekend hours so I'll be working on the weekends from fucking 9AM to 8PM from now on on the weekends.
That normally wouldn't mean much but now I'm definitely not going to want to go out and do shit on the days where everyone else is doing shit. I admit I'm pretty lonely here, not for a lack of people, but a lack of opportunity to spend with people. It's kind of getting to me extra hard since the VPNs are gone and that cuts off Twitch and discord which is where I'd normally talk to more positive and wholesome community people I like, and I'm really missing that as I sit alone in my dark room wondering if I go back to sleep if I'll stay asleep or whatever horrible nightmares I suspect and are fucking me up will continue.
Maybe I should have a drink? But I've been drinking a lot since Sunday, I had free flow brunch mimosas and drank almost half a bottle of champagne and in the evening knocked off about 25% of my bottle of Bombay Sapphire Gin. That was two days ago though, I just had a little gin yesterday. But I'm prone to alcoholism less in quantity, Ive never been blackout drunk or so drunk that I couldbt walk a straight line. But I do tend to drink either socially or when sad and I feel like Id be more in the sad camp than social camp right now.
I've also been getting a fair amount of exercise with my 14kg weight since Ive been so fucking stir crazy.
I'll do a more detailed Shanghai blog when I stop feeling like someone injected me with adrenaline and horse tranquilizer and they're both competing to see whos stronger.